Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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