we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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