I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
