Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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