im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
