It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Are these your boobs on my camera?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
