I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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