my text book just quoted the cookie monster
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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