if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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