I wish I could punch you in the face.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Come on in and take your pants off
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