Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize