NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
