Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize