Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
