i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
