Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
