I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
