I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
