chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
