Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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