can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
