i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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