I have demons in me.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
