I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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