I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
