I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
