I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
