11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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