What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
