how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
