I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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