Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
