____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
so let's talk penis.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
