i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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