let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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