Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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