oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
