He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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