I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
