do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
