idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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