I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
