So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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