If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
