Where is the hickey?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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