there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
