I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
