Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
