I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
