instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Semen is not good for contacts.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
