Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize