Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
