Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
