garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
