I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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