garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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